Hello beautiful human, As the more ‘Yang’ energy of Spring shifts towards the Summer buzz I’ve had some epic conversations with friends this week about the insanely huge expectations we sometimes place on ourselves to be the perfect human…and when it comes to socialising – host or hostess. And the healing balm of BEAUTY and BEING.
I still have clear images of women in my life (and me in the past) rushing around making the house perfectly tidy, putting everything in its place and cooking up the perfect meal in the perfect home. And even once people arrived the busy buzzing continued, in the name of serving others but often fuelled by a sneaky current of anxiety of not getting it right + fear of true vulnerability & intimacy.
Yes, the layout may have been perfectly curated. The meal impeccable. The home sparkling with its display home qualities. Everything in it’s perfect place.
But was there a loving presence? A realness?
A nervous system available for intimacy or connection?
When I talk about cultivating Deep Rest or Resourcing your Nervous System, it’s one thing to take time out to slow down intentionally and empty out/digest life. It’s another thing all together to begin to look at where our internal voices and stories place a very heavy burden of keeping up with the imaginary perfect woman/human standards we continue to ask of ourselves (and each other?!)
And to begin to see each time we play into the Perfect Human story not only are we stretching already frazzled nervous systems into more overwhelm, but also creating walls and barriers with our loved ones, stopping them and us from receiving the meaningful connection our hearts are deeply longing and lonely for.
I wonder if this resonates with you? Have you ever been guilty of trying to create the perfect experience for loved ones and found yourself too overwhelmed (stressed or disconnected) to actually enjoy the experience with them? Or have put off gathering with loved ones because you don’t have the energy to curate the ‘perfect’ experience or are afraid of getting it wrong?
I’ve definitely been guilty of this – and gosh it’s painful to look back at. But this weekend I watched the joy of bringing the story of the imaginary perfect human into the light, putting the burden down and truly just bathing in the joy of sharing with some amazing humans.
I don’t have the need, energy or desire to try to live up to that kind of perfect crap anymore. I’m most interested in connecting with humans I adore and allowing our time together to be nurturing (for all of us!). Simple cups of tea snuggled on the sofa, shared meals and heart chats that are possible when the vulnerability of realness is present. A realness that is often impossible when we’re left hiding behind or desperately trying to maintain the mask or facade of the perfect human.
What if we put down the story of needing to be perfect and instead began to believe there is no greater gift we can give anyone than our in the moment loving, grounded, at ease real presence – and a nervous system that is available for genuine social connection.
The flower isn’t perpetually in Bloom and we don’t question it’s beauty. Why do we question ours?
To be devoted to living a more Restful way of life, for me, means dismantling the image of this pretend perfect creature, taking her off the pedestal and welcoming the Beauty of the real in her place. A place where we’re in this together. Walking side by side. Embracing the messy as beautiful too. And cultivating partnership rather than competition, perfection and dominance.
So as we rise into the Yang seasons I hope there will be the ‘just right’ amount of activity over the summer season to nourish our hearts – and that we keep learning together to act from our ‘I’m enoughness’ rather than the over controller or imaginary perfect human.
In aligning with the land here at Treeby I’ll be closing most of our group offerings over Summer but there is still one more month left to come and melt into the space of Beauty and the intentional pause with me.
Sending you all much love and thank you for being here on this very real journey together.
Thank you for your love & support.
PS. Use code NURTURE for 10% off all bookings made before 31 October 🥰
♥️ Saturday 28th October 6.30pm Womens Full Moon Red Tent
🌻 Wednesday 8th November 6.30pm Resourcing Your Nervous System
♥️ Sunday 19th November 10.00am A Sacred Pause Cacao Ceremony
🌻 Monday nights until 20th Nov Womens Deep Rest Yin