On Being true to my Self & the Contradictions!

I’m not interested in being the good girl, or the bad girl. I’m interested in Being me.

I’m not interested in being dark or light. I’m interested in residing in my whole radiant Self in all her colours and shades.

I’m not interested in only speaking gently or only yelling from the top of the roof. I’m interested in finding how my authentic voice sounds in each moment…and trusting Her in her wisdom.

I’m not interested in putting on a mask so I look like you or fit into your club, school or social group. I’m interested in Seeing myself as I am and allowing myself to be visible in this world.

I’m not interested in the kind of Self Love that only goes skin deep. I’m interested in loving every part of me in a way that cuts through the bullshit stories and ideas I’ve carried for far too long.

I’m not interested in spending time with people just so I don’t feel lonely. I’m interested in loving my loneliness AND my aloneness and welcoming time with loved ones who truly see me and want me to see them. I call this Intimacy.

I’m not interested in old school models or relationships that rely on fear, control and domination. I’m interested in unravelling these parts within myself and holding true to my inner knowing there is another way – the way of Love, the way of Partnership.

I’m not interested in following rigid rules and systems that want to tell me who I am. I’m interested in exploring ideas AND always coming back to my own inner and outer landscapes to feel the joy of resting in my own bones.

I’m not interested in following your path. I’m interested in feeling truly at home on my own.

I’m not interested in you placing me on a pedestal as the Goddess, thinking I can do the work for you or that my way is THE ONLY path for you. I’m interested in celebrating you as you unravel the layers that keep you from yourself.

I’m not interested in being the one who knows it all or the one who knows nothing. I’m interested in celebrating and holding a humbleness for the unique wisdom I carry in my bones – the wisdom of Grace – and I’m interested in remaining open to hear the unique wisdom you carry in your bones – the wisdom of Grace.

And maybe most importantly I’m interested in holding all of these contradictions inside of myself so that I can feel the beauty and wonder of life in every moment instead of pushing it away. I trust this also allows me to better honour, respect and hold the contradictions that arise within you so the world doesn’t need to become grey and numb and almost dead in order for me to feel safe.

Something big is stirring in me these days.

Can you feel it in yourself too?

As much as we can show up for each other and shine a light down dark paths to support each other along the way. Ultimately we’re still responsible for Being true to ourselves.

In a world that for so long has asked you to be a cookie cutter human, to fit in, numb out, harden your heart and pretend to be like everyone else…I ask you to dig deep and rebel.

And let that rebellion be the act of Being your Self. Whole. Imperfect. Messy. Radiant.

Leave a Reply