Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman
My willingness to now let this word be a big part of my life, well this is my latest practice of self love. Self love for me looks different every day, it’s taking time to cook nourishing meals, spending a leisurely day sitting on my sofa sharing cups of tea (and chocolate) with friends, using my voice to communicate clear Yes’s and No’s, cuddles and creation time with my beloved, time in nature, time alone, yoga classes, naps, writing and anything that moves my body…it’s essentially me choosing to prioritise things that bring me to life.
Right now C H O C O L A T E seems to have centre stage and I’m learning to just roll with it. This love for chocolate I’m writing about isn’t the Tim Tams and Cherry Ripe kind of chocolate, although I do have a softspot for these too!
The kind of chocolate LOVE I’m talking about is for the ceremonial cacao kind I was introduced to when I lived in Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. The kind I discovered on the porch of a man known as the chocolate shaman and the wizard behind Keiths cacao. The kind that has had me crying like a baby, throwing tantrums like a toddler, laughing like life had just told the most amazing joke ever, hugging like I’ve never hugged before, dancing like no one was watching, loving trees like they were my long lost soul mates and making love to lovers and life like I never imagined possible.
Having written that last paragraph I can see now how and why C H O C O L A T E has taken on an extra special meaning for me. It signifies a time where I began to F E E L all the feels of life after years of feeling a little numb to it all. This was a time when I began to connect with a youthfulness, an innocence, a simple joy of playing with life that I’d been searching high and low for that has now evolved into me sharing Cacao Ceremonies and Cacao Yoga with others.
Over the years I’ve gradually come to appreciate there is a whole rainbow of experiences that make up a vibrant life. All the shades and all the colours so important to making up the whole sovereign being that I am. But still in full transparency it felt like I had a tendency towards sadness over joy and I’d often get disappointed with myself for ‘still’ having these feelings I thought I’d worked through.
It wasn’t until an experience last year had me realise no matter how much I said I wanted joy and play in my life, I wouldn’t actually give myself permission to receive it and just enjoy the life that I’ve worked so hard to create. As much as I hunted high and low for joy…the reality is I felt guilty whenever it appeared in my life and effectively turned it away.
It was in a moment of vulnerable sharing with a group of women, having them witness and receive me in that moment that began the unravelling of this limit I’d placed on Joy. Then during a pretty intense full moon and lunar eclipse season on more than one occasion I sat up in my bed in the middle of the night with chocolate love running through my body. The best way I can describe it was as if life was making love to me, and I felt the ecstatic thrill in every cell….and only one word came to mind C H O C O L A T E.
What immediately followed was a visceral sense of how I hadn’t been giving myself permission to feel the joy of the C H O C O L A T E magic that has been unfolding around me for months and how it was time to let that crappy story go.
I let a whole lot of past stories go, and a whole lot of spiritual teachings that had somehow seen me tying myself in knots trying to arrive somewhere (a magical yet faraway place called enlightenment). And I woke up on my birthday and decided to start giving a whole lot less fucks about what other people thought and start doing the things that truly bring me alive.
Drinking C H O C O L A T E. Talking about C H O C O L A T E. Saying the word C H O C O L A T E. Writing about the word C H O C O L A T E and sharing C H O C O L A T E with others….these all bring me great joy.
What is joy for me? It’s an opening in my chest, a softness in my heart and an activation of life force flooding my body. When you look at all the scientific studies around the active ingredients in cacao this makes a lot of sense, in its purest form cacao has real scientific based reasons for the feel good – from it’s impact on our Dopamine & Seratonin levels, to the neurotransmitters and receptors in our brain and the high levels of magnesium that help my body to relax. But at the end of the day take any science away and it doesn’t change the fact that I simply feel good when I let C H O C O L A T E be a part of my life.
An addiction you say? Maybe. We’re all addicts, name your vice we all have one, food, drugs, words, emotions, drama, shopping, sex, internet, social media, relationships. I’m not above this and spent years addicted to my negative thinking and depression so I’m happy to embrace something that supports me in letting go of these addictions. I’m over the holier than thou spiritual wanker crap of trying to be the perfect more than human being….and I’m sticking with simple questions – is what I’m doing helping me come alive? Yes? Am I hurting myself or anyone else? No. Is it stopping me from being in service to humanity. No… soooo hello C H O C O L A T E. Welcome to my world and thank you oh thank you thank you thank you for helping me and so many others to receive JOY!
Then I had another crazy thought…what if I were to love myself as much as I love C H O C O L A T E. Holy shit that’s revolutionary! Imagine if we all loved ourself as much as we all love C H O C O L A T E….how’s that for a Self Love goal?!
If you’d like to play a little with the magic of C H O C O L A T E to help you tune into what it is that brings you to life, reach out, I’m offering private ceremonies from my cottage in Treeby or by skype and have lots of yummy events & retreats coming up in 2019.
Or want to order some of your very own cacao to begin to make your own daily practice of inviting in joy and heart connections. If you’re in Australia you can order cacao ONLINE. Not in Australia, no problems you can order directly from Keith’s cacao and they will ship to you wherever you are.
Wishing you all so much C H O C O L A T E love!! May you be blessed to know what is it that brings you to life and may you have the wisdom and courage to let it in.
Big fat chocolatey love to you all <3