Daughters without Mums Retreat

Mothers Day, Sunday 9 May, 9.30am – 3.30pm | $130 including lunch and ceremonial cacao

This is a day retreat for daughters without mums. A moment to gather together with other women who have lost their mum due to death, physical separation, mental illness, emotional abandonment, neglect or any other circumstance of the loss of their mother or maternal anchor in life.

One day a year on Mother’s Day society stops to honour the magic of mums in our lives. Such a beautiful thing to be a part of, but when your mum is no longer here for you to celebrate with, it can touch a deep sense of loss and grief for the moments missed & memories remembered. 

There are 3.7 million women in Australia who have lost their mums ~ Motherless Daughters Australia

Our grief adverse culture does little to acknowledge the deep and profound impact losing a mum or mother figure can have, making Mothers day a difficult one for many of us. 

We can be left with exhausting and painful dilemma’s. What do we do with ourselves on this day?  Do we mark the day & worry what others will think. Do we stay home and grieve alone, do we stay silent & put on a brave face. Stay busy caring for others?  We may feel these are the only options available to us. 

This retreat day, offers another option. The opportunity to be as you are , no roles or rules to fulfil, no big decisions to make, no apologies to make. A day to nourish and nurture what arises for you around Mothers day, to be supported and experience a different way of navigating Mother Day. A day to remember the magic of your mum and the ways in which both her life and absence have shaped who you are today.

Losing our mum or mother figure is a little talked about experience, one that can effect our developing woman hood. Leaving many women and girls with a sense of being without an anchor, guide, nurturer & a deep longing for these spaces to be nourished. 

‘Ask any woman whose mother has died and she will tell you that she is irrevocably altered, as profoundly changed by her mother’s death as she was by her mother’s life.’ – Motherless Daughters, Hope Edelman   

In a culture that has much to learn about grief and loss it’s easy to feel as if we’ve been asked to cut off from the very aspects of ‘Mother/feminine’ that can support us as we reorientate & transition.  Together we can lighten the heaviness of navigating alone, as we share, receive wisdom, clarity, & discover new ways of being.

Limited to 14 women, this is an intimate gathering so bookings are required. 10% of profits from this event will be donated to non profit organisation Motherless Daughters Australia to support them in their incredible work increasing awareness and support for the profound impact of motherloss on girls and women.

We believe social connection is an important part of healing and honouring so a key part of this day retreat will be our lunch break immersed in nature – you’ll be served a delicious nourishing lunch and given the space to chat and share stories with each other or take time in nature if you prefer.

PRACTICALS – What will we be Doing?

This is a day about Being more than Doing.

A safe space to gather in circle, as we would have done many many years ago.

We acknowledge the power of gentle movement, ceremony, mindfulness and sharing to help you to feel deeply nurtured and nourished.

The day will include small digestible chunks of wisdom surrounding Grief and Loss from Jules of Honouring Grief Perth and a deliciously slow gentle Deep Rest practice guided by Lani inviting you to soften body, mind and heart knowing there isn’t a single piece of you that needs to be excluded from this experience.

What to Expect

  • Honouring ritual – welcoming the memories of our mums into the space, both the joys and the sorrows
  • Heart circle sharing – an invitation to speak your story and to be heard and held (your sharing is always optional and your silence will be honoured as deeply as your words)
  • Cacao ceremony – helping us to connect to the gentleness, courage and wisdom of the heart, even a heart that might feel like a piece of it was lost when our mums were no longer by our sides
  • Gentle Deep Rest practice – using yin yoga, mindfulness and nervous system repair to allow the tension of unmet emotion, grief and loss to be felt, honoured, loved and released
  • Nourishing vegetarian and gluten free lunch served while we connect with each other
  • Journalling and optional craft activities

Please note while yoga and mindfulness can be a very powerful tool for processing anxiety and moving through periods of depression and grief this is not a replacement for counselling or psychotherapy session and no medical advice will be provided. Recommendations to heart centred counsellors, psychotherapists and health professionals can be provided to support your journey if needed.

Your Facilitators

Jules from Honouring Grief Perth and Lani from Heart of Rest invite you to share this very special morning journey into the heart of Mother’s Day. Together we celebrate our mums and we honour the way our mother loss shapes who we are.

Jules has been consciously navigating layers of grief for the last 6 years, the catalyst being the loss of her mum to ovarian cancer in 2015.

“Life as I knew it changed with my mums diagnosis of ovarian cancer in 2008, from that day I felt strangely different in the world. I knew my life would never be the same. She was my best friend, How could it be. A statement that has taken years to unravel.

Before & as my mum died in 2015 I had the honour of being her confidante, & part time care giver. We had the difficult conversations, some tear filled, some filled with her cheeky sense of humour, grace & fearlessness of death.

This period of time was followed by one of depression, anxiety, PTSD & complete heartbreak.

After a year or of trying to fit in with social rules of grief — attend a funeral, keep busy, talk about ‘it’ as little as possible. A little voice deep inside began to question..is this ok? Is this how I feel now? I continued to listen to that voice & it lead me to ways I could break some of those rules & create new ones for myself, finding a new way.

I have numerous friends without mums & it is in their company that the deepest, most vulnerable places in my heart are seen & nourished.

While exploring my relationship with grief, I have trained in Hatha/Yin and restorative yoga, meditation & mindfulness. Studied grief and trauma, heart/mind connection, MBSR – mindful based stress reduction, ‘holding safe spaces’ – Australian Grief and Bereavement Centre’, and attended ‘ The art of dying’ workshop.

My most nurturing discoveries come from the practice of presence in the heart, nature as a guide and companion, & compassion as the container for not just our loss’ but our entire human experience.The unravelling continues as I navigate the less frequent but ongoing waves and complexities of loss & grief.

Lani’s heart, soul and spirit rests in a love for stillness, embodiment, ceremonial cacao, emotional wisdom and nature. Inspired by the power of human connection Lani offers cacao ceremonies and yoga and mindfulness for emotional balance. She is a qualified yoga and meditation instructor and has studied Grief, Loss and Trauma counselling, Tantra, Feminine embodiment practices, Yoga for Trauma and Psoas release.

“Hi, I’m Lani, the heart & voice behind heArt of Rest. A place of community and rest created to help others step into their authentic sensitive emotional genius self. ⁠My journey in this life has been deeply guided and shaped by the death of my mum when I was teen and my mother in law in my early thirties along with several other key maternal anchors in my life. I struggled against depression, stress, sensitivity, grief and exhaustion for a good chunk of my adult life. And for as long as I could remember I was always told I was too sensitive and the message that stuck with me was “my emotions are bad and it’s not safe to express them”. So I did my best to keep them hidden playing the people pleaser and letting perfectionism control my life. Until eventually my body couldn’t carry the weight of all of the words and feelings I hadn’t expressed and I began to listen.

One day I found myself in London sitting in a gathering called Motherless Daughters and for the first time in many many years I felt like someone understood me and that what I’d been feeling was normal. In hearing the stories of other women who had lost their mums and being able to share my story with women who understood the ache in my heart, I saw parts of me I had tried to hide for so long and I saw how deeply motherloss can affect the feminine psyche.

Finding gentle and compassionate ways to be with my emotions lead me to become a qualified Yin and Hatha Yoga and Meditation instructor and I’ve spent the past 10 years studying and teaching Feminine embodiment practices, Yoga for Trauma, Tools for the Highly Sensitive Person, Grief Loss and Trauma Counselling, Psoas release, Sacred Sexuality and Tantra.

I am so grateful for all of the teachers, mentors and friends that offered safe passage for me to navigate my darkness and to learn to embrace it as much as my light. Through the loss of my mum I’ve been given opportunity after opportunity to find other ways to feel nourished, nurtured, held and supported by life and how richly my mum (and the essence of the divine feminine) weaves her way through every part of my experience.”